Healing My Story Self-Love

Winds of Change

September 8, 2016

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I am seriously behind.  And as a result…my behind has also gotten bigger.

We travel between California and Minnesota often and with a big shift such as this, it always throws me off.  I have never been a creature of habit…rather more of a drifter in life.  Seeing where one adventure or another will take me.  I love to wander and experience new things…people, foods, cultures, ideas.  Honestly, the unknown is more comfortable for me.  A room full of strangers is thrilling.  I love the conquest and the challenge of anything unfamiliar.  Sameness and structure paralyze me.  Throw me in the that same room with people I know…now I am scared shitless.

WHY?

Believe you me, I have often pondered this.  Being this way doesn’t exactly put me in the mainstream.  I certainly have felt that  I am a ‘fish out of water’ more times that I can count.  Small talk?  Oh god…not this shit again.  I know that daily routine for most people is comforting, it creates a sense of well-being in this crazy life.  We know what to expect and when to expect it.  There is solace in it.

Just…not for me.

I get itchy.

There was a card  good friend once gave me and it sums me up pretty perfectly, it says “Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting”

Yep, there it is.  And now that I am over 40, I really am not interested in masquearding or being exhausted.  AND…I make no apologies, either.

Neither should you.

I believe we all have some inner freak and nobody should shame you into hiding it. Those people aren’t worth your time.  Really,  as I travel down this road of life, I am finding more and more that there are some really great people out there for you and some that are not.  Don’t waste your time, they may be great, just for someone else.

However, age has another trick up its sleeve.  I am realizing that I am liking some comfort in routine, even if it is short-lived or temporary.  Knowing certain things are there makes my day a little better, a little brighter.   And ‘things’ is the operative word here, because my husband, daughters and my dogs ALWAYS do this for me!

Creature comforts like a good cup of coffee in the morning.  A certain silly game on my phone.  My gratitude journal.  There is some ‘sameness’ sneaking its way into my life.  Of course, as soon as the wind shifts I may change directions again and new rituals will form in the others place.

It would seem that I am seasonally habitual.

For now…..

I am living in an RV in my BFF’s driveway, in the process of buying a house, homeschooling the girls…you get the idea.

The winds of change are always about us and nothing could be more true…

When the winds of change blow, some people build walls and others build windmills.~Chinese Proverb

Until then…build some windmills and….

Eat the whole egg!

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1 Comment

  • Reply Unity December 3, 2016 at 12:06 am

    A rolling stone is worth two in the bush, thanks to this arleitc.

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