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Healing Lyme Disease My Story Self-Love

Lyme Crimes

May 16, 2017

 …if they only tasted this good

I have often wondered what I have done to deserve the hard knocks of this life at every turn.
Grappling with so many unanswered questions:
Why was I always exhausted (like beyond exhausted…bone tired) even though I exercised and ate cleanly?
Why did I suffer through insufferable insomnia(like sleeping only 1-2 hours/night and sometimes not at all), even though I have a good ‘nighttime routine’ and didn’t drink much caffeine?
Why did I always struggle with my weight even though all of bloodwork would come back…’FANTASTIC’??
Why would my periods-from-hell take me down for 10 days to 2 weeks, even though all of my OB/GYN appointments came out ‘normal’?
Where are these migraines coming from even though I have identified and eliminated most of my food intolerances and/or allergens?
Why would my throat, tongue, lips, eyes swell at random?

Of course, there was always the ADVICE.

Maybe you just need a schedule.  (Really???  Because I am one of the most organized people I know and my house and kids are always clean…within reason)
Maybe you don’t have enough faith.(Ok, literally faith in God and hope are some of the only things keeping me going)
You just need a job.  (Well, that is nice.  I had these troubles when I was employed, too.  And would you be insinuating that stay-at-home moms don’t experience challenges??)
You need to be more positive.  (I am actually one of the most positivie people I know.  That must be why my friends come to me for advice and encouragement.  Cuz, I am such a fucking downer!)

My favorite….

You are strong.  You will get through it.  (Yes, this is true….Thank God.)
And I realize sometimes, people just don’t know what to say.  I have been there as well.  But we need to realize when someone is truly suffering, careless words have impact.  Sometimes, we just need a caring ear and some validation; rather than  ‘I know your life sucks, but I really don’t want to hear it because it is seriously bumming me out and I don’t want to be unhappy.’   Thank God I have a loving support structure of friends and family, I cannot imagine enduring these things alone!

Harsh.  I know.

But true.

At least for once in my life, I have the answer.  I was officially diagnosed with Lyme, Babesia and Candida after a nasty run-in with a very moldy home we were renting.  Basically, exposure to mold, especially black mold, is like gasoline on the Lyme fire.  The myriad of symptoms that I was experiencing and barely making due with, were rearing their ugly head in full force and totally kicking my ass.
After 2 urgent care visits, 1 emergency room visit and one visit to a Primary Care Physician, I was completely baffled as to what could be causing these very sudden and crippling manifestations.  I had a range of symptoms from:
  • debilitating pain in my upper spine, neck and jaw
  • neurological deficits such as blurred vision, dizziness, inablility to process thoughts, chronic forgetfulness, numbness and tingling in my extremities, and weakness and clumsiness in my legs
  • all of my joints were on fire
  • I couldn’t sleep
  • I wasn’t digesting any of my food well without crazy amount of bloating
  • I was nauseous all of the time
  • I was so weak, I couldn’t even hold my head up
  • I had zero sex drive…like in the negative
  • I was so freaking cold I would shake uncontrollably, then so hot I couldn’t cool down
  • I started to notice my personality changing, which was weird and foreign to me

Sounds like fun, doesn’t it???

And what made it all the more fun was the treatment I received from some of the docs that I saw.  After explaining that I am very fit and healthy prior to these symptoms (like I said, with tedious habits I was able to keep the Lyme at bay…somewhat).  I couldn’t for the life of me understand what was happening to me or why.
I have to say the visits to Urgent care were fantastic.  They delved in and took time trying to figure it out.  The ER visit was another thing…entirely.  At this visit, I was in so much pain I almost didn’t make it.  But, I mustered through, convinced something was very wrong.  After the doc consistently reminded me in her voice of aggravation, that this ‘was not emergent’ I could see she thought I was an attention seeker, a drug seeker.  How am suppose to know it isn’t an emergency??  It sure felt like one!  I know from my sister’s experience as an RN how frustrating this can be for providers.  But this woman didn’t care, she just wanted me out of there.
Interestingly enough, I pushed for a CT scan of my most painful area in the upper back and neck, where a significant amount of degeneration (arthritis) was found.  Strange for someone who works out all the time, eats a low inflammatory diet, is only 44 with no previous incidents of arthritis…wouldn’t you say?!?!
After some prodding from my very loving and supportive husband(we need more like him in the world folks!), he kept saying he thought it was Lyme Disease.  So, off to the PCP(primary care physician) for a look.  After we had a nice chat about some of his travels, I gave him the low-down on my sudden, on-set symptoms, I told him what my theory was.  First, he said that they don’t have Lyme Disease in Southern California.  WHAT?!?  (I just told him we travel back & forth between here and Minnesota)  Then,  he basically said, “I could send you here…and here…and there…and you will just end up at the psychiatrist”.  Holy shit.  After all that he said, we can do your bloodwork, but I can just prescribe these antibiotics for you now.  Well, let’s just say I hope his golfclub doesn’t fly too far up his pretentious ass when he is golfing.
This is what we have to deal with.

Wow….just wow.

The crimes of Lyme Disease are immense.  If discovered immediately, diagnosed effectively and quickly, it is easily remedied and cured within a couple weeks of antibiotic treatment.  However, most people do not find it quickly (those ticks are sneaky) and less than a 1/3 get the tell-tale bullseye rash, that we hear so much about.  A good Lyme-literate doc would know this.  And by the time the disease starts to rear its ugly head, it gets harder and harder to treat. This is why Lyme is called the great imitator, like its cousin, Syphilis.  Syphilis and Lyme are spirochete bacteria, corkscrew in shape…. And they are smart as hell.  Syphilis, one would agree, is nasty and no joke.  It can make you very sick, even kill you.  And it has only 22 genes compared to the 132 genes of Lyme!!  Meaning…Lyme can do whatever it wants and it does!

http://The B. burgdorferi genome contains at least 132 genes encoding putative lipoproteins, but only 22 such genes are present in T. pallidum) read more

Dairy-Free Gluten Free Grain Free Healing Weight Loss Journey


September 13, 2016


I have bombed my earlier attempts to lose weight.

I thought that I would eat less (about 1600 – 1800cals/day) and workout 3-5 times a week and it would all come together.  And like I said in an earlier post, that about after 2.5 months of this, it became painfully clear that it wasn’t working. read more

Healing My Story Self-Love

Winds of Change

September 8, 2016


I am seriously behind.  And as a result…my behind has also gotten bigger.

We travel between California and Minnesota often and with a big shift such as this, it always throws me off.  I have never been a creature of habit…rather more of a drifter in life.  Seeing where one adventure or another will take me.  I love to wander and experience new things…people, foods, cultures, ideas.  Honestly, the unknown is more comfortable for me.  A room full of strangers is thrilling.  I love the conquest and the challenge of anything unfamiliar.  Sameness and structure paralyze me.  Throw me in the that same room with people I know…now I am scared shitless. read more

Healing Self-Love Weight Loss Journey

Bone Broth…My New BFF

July 15, 2016

I am 3 days in so far and I have already felt the positive affects of adapting my diet.  Not only am I down 3 lbs (I was up to 166 from all of the inflammation and slowing of my digestive tract, and I was originally down to 161), my headaches are delineating, digestion is improving(I am pooping like crazy, which for me is awesome), bloating is going down and overall I am not as fatigued. read more

Healing Self-Love Weight Loss Journey

Leaky what? Leaky Gut!!!

July 12, 2016

I have been working with my awesome trainer, John, for about 2.5 months now.  I have started to make changes to my diet, mostly, cutting back on sugars, junk food, increasing veggie intake and water intake.

As I have indicated in my earlier post, I have seen some positive changes.  My family has seen some changes.  My weight for the most part has not changed, if anything, I have gained weight.  A few pounds,but certainly not losing.  Have I been stellar about my food?  No, I could have been better.  But, I am still making changes and moving in the right direction.  And I have been great about working out.  That I am a champion at!

Still…I could do better…

It isn’t about perfection, it is about lifestyle…I remind myself.


Yet, there is something nagging at me.  I couldn’t quite put a finger on it.

It started with my energy.  I noticed, even with a good daily dosage of caffeine, that my energy was really starting to decline.  As in, OMG, I am really dreading today’s workout.  Not that normal dread, something deeper.  And when I was done working out, I wasn’t getting that return of energy like I was when I started, it just seemed to zap me more.  And I wasn’t sleeping as well either.

Then, the weird stuff.  Like bloating when I drank water.  Whaaaaaaa?!?!?!

Then, the headaches.  The cravings.  The overall moodiness.  My weight fluctuation without any real logical reason to it.

I knew something was wrong.  And I knew what it was and I know why it was.

I just didn’t want it to be.

I was so excited and on a roll.  Maybe I was too enthusiastic?  Took off of the start line too quickly?  Too much, too soon, too often???


It was inflammation.

Now, I know you are probably tired of hearing about this right now.  It really does seem to be quite the buzz word.  But, I have studied and read, and read, and read about the problems with inflammation and the problems it causes.

And, BOY does it cause problems!

The issue of inflammation is a convoluted mess.  It is a jumble-mumble of topsy-turvy issues that all seem to be on top of one another, leaving you to wonder which causes what?  And what started it all?

Chicken or the Egg…Anyone?  (sorry, I couldn’t resist!!)

I can’t say for sure myself, but I have found that they all seem to be linked to one main cause and that is


What the heck is leaky gut?  Well, it is very much as it sounds.  Your gut, to some extent is made to be permeable.  That is, to let certain things out of your gut (toxins, microbes, and undigested food particles) which allows them to be passed into your blood stream.  However, with leaky gut, your gut is TOO permeable.  And when things are flying out of your gut that shouldn’t; your body’s first response is to attack and hence…inflammation.

Here is a great article about leaky gut made simple.

Stress, diet too high in sugars, refined carbohydrates and oils, intense exercise, eating foods that are reactive with your body, lack of sleep, coffee…..all can be very damaging to the walls of your gut.

 So, if you are experiencing leaky gut and continue to eat foods or expose yourself that make your immune system continually attack, you are going to start to have problems.

Reactions to foods should be taken seriously and not passed off.  Your body is trying to tell you something.  The problem is, that most of us are so reactive that we are not even aware of when we are reactive or not or what is making us sick!

If that is the case, then how in the heck do you figure anything out?!

Enter the elimination diet.

I have been familiar with this diet for some time when my daughter was first diagnosed with food allergies some 15 years ago.  (eggs, wheat, soy, nuts, peanuts, corn, dairy….how would you like to cook with those restrictions?)

I never did go through with it.  I thought by removing all of the offending foods that we should all be good, right??  Afterall,  what the hell COULD we eat?!  It was like everything was taken off the list.  And with that adjustment we did improve immensely, but still there were issues that would crop up here and there…now and again.  Obviously, our systems were not quite balanced, we haven’t achieved homeostasis.

Enter in present. read more